What Come Around Goes Around

Now that I am "middle aged" one has enough water under their bridge to be able to reflect and regret things in the past. I don't normally talk about my past relationships with anyone but sometimes you just gotta blurt it out. Or get it out.

My first love really was my dream girl, let's call her Sy. We were high school sweethearts then lost touch. Four years later we picked up where we left off. In the meantime I had met this wonderful girl that was just sweet and a great person, let's call her Cy. During my time as a missionary I kept writing to both Cy and Sy. Sy knowing about Cy but Cy not knowing fully about Sy. Upon my return to civilian life I saw both girls in the same week. Sy was moved to the top of the list (the list of 2) and Cy was let down softly. It that immature state of communication ability I never knew the magnitude of Cy's love and dreams of a future together. I wanted to remain friends with Cy, not knowing that I had absolutely broken her heart. We have never communicated again.

So Sy and I pursued out relationship and looked to a future together. As poor college students we became engaged. She living in Utah and I in Idaho. After a time I was the recipient of the broken heart. Oh man! I was devastated. I don't know that Sy ever knew of the plunged into the abyss she caused. I didn't realize the heart breaking I had caused Cy until I experienced it.

As retrospective adults it would be nice to have an open conversation with these people. Be able to apologize all around and wish them well and happiness in life. It is tough to have the steel trap memory. Never forgetting, and if allowed, always remebering. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have little memory paths of the brain get washed clean. Maybe I should take up a brain cell killing habit to fix the steel trap. Nah! It just doesn't appeal to me. A rusty steel trap is bad, I really like stainless steel.

Luckily I have a great wife and family. If the present wasn't so good the past could be a haunter. As you have seen in past posts I am busy and have a good life. DMP